I was cleaning out the closet and found my old dream journal. After flipping through, I decided to share a few random entries.

July 26, 2000
I was talking to Vinnie, but it was so weird because I was talking in a man's voice. Then, suddenly, Vinnie morphed into a dog...

April 4, 2001
My parents were eating this dish with boiled shrimp in it after I'd warned them not to. A little while later they were nauseated, and I was laughing my ass off at them, yelling "I told you so!" As soon as the words left my mouth, I took a giant swig from a glass of milk, only to find that it was sour and curdled. I hauled ass into the kitchen and started gaging in the sink. It was all slimy and stuck in my throat, and I couldn't breathe. When I woke up I was pushing drool out the side of my mouth with my tongue. It was all over my cheek and pillow. Thank god I sleep alone.

December 29, 2003
I'm riding around New Orleans with Robert Downey Jr. He's driving and though the radio isn't on, he's singing Prince's "I Wanna Be Your Lover." He sounds awful, all off-key and shit, so I tell him as much, and he reaches over and pimp slaps the hell out of me like Ike Turner... then the phone woke me up.

January 2, 2004
I'm in the living room. Suddenly, a cockroach takes off from in front of the phone and soars straight at me. I start screaming and flailing about hysterically. I wake up actually swinging in the air and making weird guttural sounds.


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